Will Work For Food

I am sitting at my desk right now draped in an old lady-esque afgan blanket and an oversized hoodie that I borrowed from my boss's daughter. Due to the cranked up A.C. and the air vent that is oh so conveniently located directly in front of my knees it is FRIGGED in my office. 'Just close the vent and quit your whining', you say? Trust me, I've tried it. "MacGyver ain't got nothing on me!", thought I as I dropped to all fours and shimmied under the desk armed with a manila folder, a roll of scotch tape, a wicked-sly grin, and a firm determination to fight the freeze. However, battle as I might, the arctic blast would not be quelled by my feeble attempts.
So here I sit, chilled to the core with the early stages of hypothermia setting in threatening to claim my appendages and my sanity...Now all I need are some hobo gloves, one or two imaginary friends , and a cardboard sign to fit in quite nicely on any respectable DC street corner.